We Interrupt This Blog. . .

. . . to bring you one of those stories about "life and warpaint." You'll like it. Promise.

It's Picture Day at school. It's 7:00 a.m. There is a soft knock at my door. It's The Surprise. If you read the blurb under this Blog's title (above), you will note that I have teenagers at home. The Surprise was a gift I received in my early 40s. The Surprise is now a teenager. And it's a girl. The Surprise has bright golden red hair, a face full of freckles and huge blue eyes. The Surprise is also makeup crazy. Gee, wherever could she have gotten that from? :) (Did I mention it's a GURL???)

She wants me to do her makeup for pictures. Why? Didn't I teach her to do it herself? Well, as a good MMM (Makeup Maven Mom), I certainly tried. However, The Surprise's makeup drug of choice is a black eye pencil, used liberally all over her face. Most of the time, she looks like she's been in a fight and lost. Yes, it makes me cringe, but what's a mother to do? I can't stop her from borrowing eye makeup (NOTE: DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYESIGHT!!!) in the bathroom at school and turning into Twiggy circa 1967. So we struck a deal.

School pictures are expensive. I pay for the pictures. When they come back to me, if you look like the Target dog, except with black rings around your eyes instead of red, you pay me back for them. Easy. Simple. Yes, you have the option of not having your pictures taken. ("Mom, you can't be serious!!!")

The night before pictures, she hadn't made up her mind yet, whether to get pictures according to my rules or not. She stopped into my job (the makeup department of a large department store) and looked around. One of my cohorts in color crime spotted her. The Surprise related her tale of woe and what to do on the morrow. My cohort took her to her own counter and made her up, very soft and pretty. She came back to me and asked if it would be all right to get her pictures taken like this. I heartily agreed. We purchased the makeup and she went home to practice.

When I got home very late that night, she was in tears. She couldn't do it. Could I recreate "the look?" She knew I would have to get up early. My much-needed morning sleep when I work late would be forfeit. "Mom, puhleeze, can you do it like this? Pretty PUHLEEZE???" Okay, okay. Call me a soft touch MMM.

So there's the 7:00 a.m. tap on my bedroom door. The Surprise is dressed and ready for her makeover. We have half an hour. I dutifully recreate the makeup application from the night before in soft shades of purples with very thin lines around her eyes, mascara, light blush and lip gloss. She looks good. (MMM breaks arm patting self on back here :) I tell her the makeup lessons will begin when she gets home. She agrees. She pinky swears she will learn how to do it correctly. She kisses me good-bye and literally floats out the door, singing on her way to the school bus.

The torch has been passed. By the way, do any of you know if black eye pencils can be put down the garbage disposal? bwahahahahahaha